It is Christmas Eve and I am not in the Christmas spirit. I have never cried more than I have cried in the last week. Nothing bad has happened to me. Actually, I just got back from a mission trip last Thursday. I must say Haiti rocked my world. I miss that country, culture, and people more than anything. I really don't think people understand that I left my heart there. I tell people I miss it and they are just like whatever but really I MISS IT!!! One of my leaders from the trip said whatever makes tears fall might be directed toward your calling/purpose. I prayed on the plane ride home that if I was meant to do missions or to go to Haiti again that he would lay it on my heart. Well God has more than placed it on my heart. I cannot stop thinking about it. Everything I see, do, or hear reminds me of Haiti somehow. If I could hop on a plane right now I would.
I don't care to get a single present this Christmas. Nothing under a tree would make me as happy as I was in Haiti. Nothing will make me smile bigger than bridging a language barrier through worship. Nothing will brighten up my day more than getting to see a paralyzed lady be normal for a day. Nothing will compare to literally feeling God's mighty rushing wind.
How can I get in a Christmas spirit when I know that America is focused on the wrong things. It is all about loving God and loving people not money, status, of materialistic things. Giving should also be done with joy and not as a duty because of a holiday. I asked my translator if Christmas was celebrated much there and he said it was. Haiti has it right though. Gifts don't matter. Christmas is not about presents but about one present that was born on that day many years ago. Fully human, fully man He came to bring us joy! His joy is what matters not happiness from gifts or anything else.
I just rambled on there but whatever. I wish I could cheer up but like I said earlier I am missing my heart. I left it somewhere that needed it more.
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