In my last post I talked about struggles a little bit, so today I think I will lay all my struggle out there. I am no where near perfect and there are plenty of things I need to work on in my life. I am not striving to be perfect but a reflection of Christ. As we grow closer to God we see how imperfect we are.; we see his flawlessness and notice are own flaws. Acknowledging them is the first step in having God work within us to change them.
My struggles:
- low self esteem
- inability to accept compliments
- lust
- feeling inadequate
- complaining
- thinking the worst
- feeling like an annoyance to people
- overthinking
- fear of not being liked
- not always breathing life
- not feeling worthy
- occasional depression
- doubt
- not believing in myself
- desire to seek revenge
- judgmental thoughts
- taking life for granted
- materialism
- pride
- appearance
- worry
- stress
- forgiving others
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. John 15:2 (NIV)
As I was writing this I sat in a room full of college students who I did not know. I began to think and realize everyone around me was going through something and struggling with things as well. I wondered who was struggling with what. As I continued to look around I honestly eavesdropped on the conversations. Within seconds I realized one girl had a problem with alcohol, and another girl was having trouble with fitting in at church. It was almost as if for once I saw the world as Jesus did, full of hurt and pain and needing salvation. I need to view the world like this more often because God is going to use us to change the world but first we need to see what needs changed.
"Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out." Colossians 4:5-6 (MSG)
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