God's Voice

Church last night was wonderful. Worship was on point and the message was even better. Hearing God's voice was the topic for the night. I think it is awesome how God made it possible to be able to speak to everyone at the same time. He created the Holy Spirit, so that he could be with all of this. If we have accepted Jesus into our hearts than we can be sure that God is speaking to us because He is within us. He is a part of us. God doesn't always have an audible voice that comes through the clouds or out of a burning bush, but instead it is that nudge from within that simply won't leave you alone.

If you feel like you can't hear that voice anymore think back to the last thing God told you to do. Did you do it? Maybe he is waiting on you to do that first. Or Maybe you feel like God has never spoken to you before. Then the first question would be is He apart of you. Have you accepted God into your heart? If so are you listening? We must stay focused on the door above us rather than the ones in front of us. Yeah, it is awesome when God opens the doors in our path but if we close the door above us and shut out God the other doors do not matter. We have to always keep that connection with God open so that we can hear from Him.

Last night it was almost like old times, a spiritual high. I left just feeling so pumped up for God. I was not able to focus on anything but Him. I haven't felt like that in a while, well since 252 actually. Every time I would leave chapel and core I would leave so on fire that I couldn't do anything because I was so fired up and in awe of God. That is the best feeling in the world, being unable to focus on the unimportant but fully able to focus on the most important.

I also noticed last night how I am in a routine with my faith. I go to church same time every week, park in the same spot, sit in the same seat, go to the same coffee cart, the list goes on and on. Maybe I plateaued in my faith because I made it a cycle instead on remembering to stay in awe. I don't think it is bad to get settled in my ways but I think when I settle in my ways I forget to walk in God's way. I am not being open to what He has for me. I settle for the things I believe are good instead of staying with God and receiving things that are even better. I need to focus my eyes on seeing the things He wants me to see, focus my ears on hearing from Him, and focus my life on walking right beside God. I may not always know where He is taking me, because He only gives enough light for each step of the journey. However, I do know that if I stay in step with God the destination will always be worth while, but the journey will be even better!

"Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me"

"Walk by Faith" by Jeremy Camp

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

Jeremiah 33:3

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."

John 10:27

  ^"I will exalt you, my God the King;
    I will praise your name for ever and ever. 

 Every day I will praise you
    and extol your name for ever and ever.

  Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
    his greatness no one can fathom. 

 One generation commends your works to another;
    they tell of your mighty acts. 

 They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty—
    and I will meditate on your wonderful works. 

 They tell of the power of your awesome works—
    and I will proclaim your great deeds. 

 They celebrate your abundant goodness
    and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

 The Lord is gracious and compassionate,
    slow to anger and rich in love.

The Lord is good to all;
    he has compassion on all he has made.

  All your works praise you, Lord;
    your faithful people extol you.

They tell of the glory of your kingdom
    and speak of your might, 

 so that all people may know of your mighty acts
    and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
    and your dominion endures through all generations.

The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises
    and faithful in all he does. 

 The Lord upholds all who fall
    and lifts up all who are bowed down.

The eyes of all look to you,
    and you give them their food at the proper time. 

 You open your hand
    and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

  The Lord is righteous in all his ways
    and faithful in all he does. 

 The Lord is near to all who call on him,
    to all who call on him in truth. 

 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
    he hears their cry and saves them. 

 The Lord watches over all who love him,
    but all the wicked he will destroy.

 My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.
    Let every creature praise his holy name
    for ever and ever."

Psalm 145:1-21 

An awe of God is meant to rule every domain of my existence, and when we lose that awe of God we turn it in to an awe of this world or an awe to ourselves. If we stay in his awe, it pulls us out of our discouraging moments, our bad days, our sinful thoughts, our times of trouble or weakness and it places our hopes on high, gives us encouragement, fills us up, gives us purpose, and reminds us of our safety and victory through Him. Stay in awe and stay amazed. He is always there, always moving, and always speaking!

All Victory

Earlier this month I decided to write a song. It is about how we have victory over everything we come across, because Jesus has already overcome it for us. He overcame temptation in the desert, death on a cross, a grave, and ultimately the world. Because Jesus defeated it all we are able to have victory over our temptations, our flesh, and the lies Satan throws at us. We can stand firm knowing that whatever comes at us we will be able to stand victorious in the end. I think this is amazing. We don't have to worry, stress, or be afraid, because we already know what the outcome is going to be. 

Romans 8:37

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

So here is my song and props to Jaytay for singing it beautifully!

I've got this

Daily Devotional

by Larry Stockstill
Israel's blessings started with the word may. As Jacob laid his hands upon the heads of Ephraim and Manasseh, he uttered the word and invoked a blessing with it three times.

The psalmist blessed Israel with equal force: "May the Lord respond to your cry. May the God of Israel keep you safe. . . . May he send you help. . . . May he remember all your gifts. . . . May he grant your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans. May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory. . . . May the Lord answer all your prayers" (Psalm 20:1-5).

The word may could be translated "allow." In other words, allow God to do what He wants to do for you. You must settle in your mind forever that God wants to bless you. Any doubt will always result in questioning His desire to answer your prayers or to increase, deliver, and help you.

God's Word has the same power to bless you, as did Jacob's words for his grandsons. "Pay attention, my child, to what I say. Listen carefully. Don't lose sight of my words. Let them penetrate deep within your heart, for they bring life and radiant health to anyone who discovers their meaning" (Proverbs 4:20-22).

May the Lord bless you today!

Proverbs 4:20-27

²⁰ My son, pay attention to what I say;

turn your ear to my words.

²¹ Do not let them out of your sight,

keep them within your heart;

²² for they are life to those who find them

and health to one’s whole body.

²³ Above all else, guard your heart,

for everything you do flows from it.

²⁴ Keep your mouth free of perversity;

keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead;

fix your gaze directly before you.

²⁶ Give careful thought to the paths for your feet

and be steadfast in all your ways.

²⁷ Do not turn to the right or the left;

keep your foot from evil.

Psalm 20:1-9

¹ May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;

may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

² May he send you help from the sanctuary

and grant you support from Zion.

³ May he remember all your sacrifices

and accept your burnt offerings.

⁴ May he give you the desire of your heart

and make all your plans succeed.

⁵ May we shout for joy over your victory

and lift up our banners in the name of our God.

May the Lord grant all your requests.

⁶ Now this I know:

The Lord gives victory to his anointed.

He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary

with the victorious power of his right hand.

⁷ Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

⁸ They are brought to their knees and fall,

but we rise up and stand firm.

⁹ Lord, give victory to the king!

Answer us when we call!

 I had the best conversation with God last night. Like a real conversation. I heard his voice so clear and with each word He eased the pain and filled me with peace. I don't know why I let doubt even slip into my mind because things like this happen and I am just like "WOW, God is good." 

"Do you have this God?"

"Yeah, I got this."

"But what if.."

"I've got this."

"But"

"Don't worry, I have got her."

Arg.

Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing, and help me to forgive them as well.

Rough day

Yesterday was kind of a rough day. I let little things bother me. For example, my car, Marcel, isn't in the best shape. She has a huge dent on her left side, no ac, and a million scratches. I was hit by a huge truck a year ago and they just drove off. I only have liability on my car, so my insurance wouldn't fix it. I got it appraised to see how much it would cost for a new door, and it is more than what my car costs. Anyways, I just feel like people judge me for that. I can't help it though. Then there is the whole smart phone issue. I do not own a smart phone, and the phone I have is in worse shape than Marcel. It bothers me that not a day goes by that people don't make fun of it or me for having it. Again nothing I can really do.

My car and my phone were really bothering me yesterday morning, but then I started struggling over the fact that I want a boyfriend. I know that it is not the right time in my life but it is almost an addiction from my past I am being tempted with. I was having trouble trying to shake lustful thoughts out of my mind all day.

Last night rolled around and it didn't get much better. Hearing and seeing that my best friend had hurt herself was just really sad. I know she is so much stronger than that and so much better than that, but I don't know what happened.

Another thing. So I was working on my personal statement and my friend was reading it and she laughed at me for how I spelled a word. I know that should not bother me in the least bit, but it did. I just feel so insecure in my writing, vocabulary, and spelling skills. Yeah, it is weird I know. I have never been good at spelling nor have I had a broad vocabulary so I just feel stupid half the time. Again, I shouldn't have let this bother me but I did.

I had sent my personal statement to my mom to proof read. I called her to see what she thought about and she flat out told me it sucked. Not okay. I was frustrated in that I knew I was going to have to redo the whole thing. I ended up rewriting and finishing it but it was stressful.

I was just being overly sensitive to everything yesterday. It just wasn't my day.

******
On a brighter note, today has started off better.

I felt at peace worshiping this morning. Singing "oooh no you never let go, you never let go of me, God is on my side the great and glorious here." It was just peacefully remembering that He never let's go of us. He always has his arms around us, and He is always with us.

I also just loved looking around and seeing about 200 people at a 6 a.m. prayer service crying out to God in prayer. It moves me to see people literally crying in their conversations with God. I also just love when I see people pray over each other. For instance, while I was walking around I saw these two probably high school age guys praying over each other. When they finished they gave each other a bro hug and went on their ways. I think it is cool just to see people be the hands and feet of Christ whether that is just praying over someone, giving them a hug, or serving them a different way. Just love it!

LOVE GOD. LOVE PEOPLE.

Through the Storm

I may not have had the best week last week spiritually but I am moving forward, and I am better. Even through the storms, I know God is there. When the disciples were on the boat when the storm hit, they were scared and terrified, but God was there with them. He was asleep but still there, and in the end he calmed the storm. That has been my life. Last week I was on the boat in the midst of a hurricane it seemed but God finally woke up and calmed the storm. He was there the whole time. I stand firm on that belief!

******
On another note, I am going to be co leading a small group this semester. I am pretty stoked about that. It is going to be for college and sophomore girls. I was hesitant at first to jump into this but I think God is putting this in my life for reasons I cant even fathom. Plus how could I tell God no to the plans he has for me? They are millions of times better than anything I could dream up. So I look forward to whatever God has in store for me whether it is leading other people another step in their walk or them leading me another step!

Roller Coaster

Yesterday was not a good day at all. I woke up feeling completely miserable. I had a sore throat, cough, achy body, and I was completely weak. Every time I stood up or walked I would feel like I was going to pass out. I actually almost did pass out in the shower. I got super light headed and decided to lay on the floor. It helped and I ended up not passing out but it was scary anyways. I went to the one class I had but I just felt like puking the entire time. I had work that afternoon, so I just called in since I felt like death. Then last night was One, the college ministry at my church. I love One, and I was glad it started back for the semester. In worship though I just couldn't get focused and wasn't getting into it. I prayed for focus and that every distraction would fade away and that it would only be me and God. It didn't help. I really just wanted to go home. Then Ty started speaking and he was talking about how people's relationship with God sometimes changes. He continued on saying that it is ALWAYS because they either quit worshiping, praying, or reading His word. I thought about my own life and question then why relationsihp with God was not right. I have been seeking him with all I have. I couldn't help but want to burst into tears the entire time. I made it through the service got in my car and flooded my car with tears. I was frustrated as to why God was not speaking to me or acknowledging the fact that He was with me and behind me. I was in the worst mood ever. I hit an all time spiritual low. I have never been mad at God until that point. I still don't know why He is ignoring me. I went to bed really upset about it all.

I woke up this morning not as upset but still really confused. I decided to break my fast because somehow it was just making things worse. I talked to a friend about what I was going through and she gave me some great encouragement.

 "I've prayed about this and I feel like it is OKAY TO STOP YOUR FAST. I believe that this is not a problem of spiritual drought, but of negativity. God has not left you. Praise god for the food before you eat it and tell Him that even though you don't feel him there that you KNOW he is because he is FAITHFUL and his promises are true. 2 Corinthians 10:5 talks about taking captive every thought and I think that's what you need to do. The enemy is battling you right now and it's time to go to war, Katie. Put on your armor and defeat those feelings of depravity. Pronounce Jesus lord of lords and omnipotent. He knows what you are going through. Read the word and focus on his promises to you and praise him. Philippians 4:8 says to meditate on what is praiseworthy and even though you don't feel like he's there, you've got to stomp out those negative thoughts of abandonment and praise him for adoption."

I did break my fast. As soon as I got home from class I prayed and worshiped and then shoveled food into my mouth. It was a real blessing to be able to eat something. I felt pretty good about it too. I wasn't upset about quitting or anything. I had peace over it. After I filled my belly up for the first time in 5 days, I went thrift shopping and found an awesome sweater and vest. (SCORE!) Then I went to pick up my paycheck and realized I had got a raise. (ANOTHER BLESSING!) Everything was going fantastic until I got a text from my ex. I am not saying he was the cause of my day going downhill, but it was the start of it. I then ended up getting my keys locked in my car, and had to drop a quarter of my paycheck to get them out. :( frustrating! It was funny though because the guy across from me at the gas station had the same thing happen, so a locksmith was pulling up right after it happened. We were both riding the struggle bus or were we locked out of the struggle bus? haha anyways yeah. I went up to my church to do some homework and I was taking some Psyc surveys for my class and those things pretty much put me in a depressed mood. I am trying to brush it off but some questions just made me feel terrible about myself. It didn't help that I don't have any friends in town to call up either. I feel really lonely. I know that is just an attack of the enemy, because there is always someone there with me, God. Yeah, I have been struggling with that, but I do believe He is always there even when I don't feel like He is. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. 

Needless to say the past week has just been a real roller coaster for me. I am going to push through all of it though. I will be filled at some point, so I will just keep pushing toward that. I will work on taking each thought captive, removing every lie of the enemy, and focusing on the promises of God.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8