One Candle

Sometimes I wish I could drop it all and move somewhere dark and lost. I saw a post today from a long term missionary in Haiti and that said "I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light." I LOVE THAT! When I was in Haiti for a week it was so incredible to be that source of light in such darkness. A lot of the time I don't feel like that here. Living in the Bible belt everyone has heard of Jesus. Not everyone truly believes and understands the Gospel but still everyone sees the light. In a way I feel like I am shining without purpose here. If my light went out would it even matter, because we live in the light? I don't know. I just feel like living here in America everything is so self focused and I get tired of it. I just want to be able to live God focused. I want to give everything up to gain even more. I really am jealous of that missionary. I know it is not always easy for her, but I would love to be her. Yeah, I am not supposed to covet and I know God has a purpose for me here but it is just easy to sit and wish. I wish I could escape all of the stress of trying to be "successful." I just want to drop it all and live in nothing but for something, which is being the light each and every day. How amazing would it be to do nothing but love people and share God's love. I mean that has to be the life! Right?