Sensitive

I am way to sensitive about my past. It is easy for me to talk about it, but if someone points out the obvious somehow I get really emotional over it. There is a difference in thinking things about myself, and having someone say the same things I think. Like I know I can't change it and I wish I had reacted differently back then but there is nothing to do now. It is still haunting though. Maybe I was slutty. Maybe I was easy. Maybe I still am. I wish I wasn't though. Why are guys so darn irresistible! these lustful desires need to go away.

²² You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

 

Ephesians 4:22-24

 

I guess I will continue fasting relationships. Sometimes I wonder though am I actually fasting to get close to God or am I just scared I will do the same things over again. Maybe it is a little of both and maybe that is not a bad thing. I should be scared of that happening again because it is not living the life I am called to. It is not a reflection of God. If avoiding the situations altogether is what I have to do right now then I guess I am okay with that.