First Breath

"Loving mercy I come, and humbly I bow

At the throne of Your grace I can justly cry out, I cry out

Praise the One who bestows in us a love that stained a cross

and crown Him King of Victory, King of you and King of me"
 

Have you ever seen anyone that literally died and came back to life? For example if someone was unable to breathe and so the were given CPR, and all of the sudden the gasped that first breath. Well this morning I was like that. I wasn't given CPR or was almost dead or anything but I received that first breath from God again. I spit out the things that were drowning me. In my cries of desperation, literal cries, God gave me hope. 

To go back to the metaphor: Even after that first breath that person is still not out of the woods yet. Complications can occur and it can still be a journey to complete restoration. However, that breath is hope. Again as I got my first breath this morning I could not help but just to feel so relieved. I have not been completely filled back up but one breathe was enough to help me to feel better and to be more confident. In that moment, peace fell upon me. It has faded a bit but I still have that hope remaining. I know God hears my cries. He is listening, and He is changing the situation.
 

"You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water."

Psalm 63:1

"God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him. When I was desperate, I called out, and God got me out of a tight spot." Psalm 34:4-6 MSG

There is still a long way to go. I need to continue breathing and being filled with his spirit. The weight is no longer on my chest, but it is still a battle.

I also was able to pray this morning still with long pauses but words came out. It's all about pushing past these barriers Satan is trying to keep building. In this ocean of life, Satan is creating massive waves, but I will walk on the waves and not be scared. And with each mountain I climb I am only reaching a higher relationship with God. 

Even though I was touched by God this morning I am going to continue this fast because I don't want to settle for the good things in life I want to settle for the best that God has for me. I believe that the best is yet to come, so I will wait. For man is not to live on bread alone but by every word of God (Matthew 4:4). For this season I am desperate to live by that truly seeking him and knowing that I will find him and his best!

"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.." James 4:8 NIV

 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 
Jeremiah 29:13 NIV